so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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