College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I would fuck him just for his dog
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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