My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize