Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I want a musical about memes.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
