he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm too high and old for this...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
