he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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