While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
