remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
