the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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