Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
