We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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