If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
