She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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