Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My ATM looks so different sober.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
