i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
