some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
