ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
