how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize