if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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