i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
