New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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