People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
