Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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