It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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