i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize