some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
