Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize