Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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