Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
