I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
