that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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