you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
