did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize