how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
