the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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