Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
