It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
