She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
