Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
