Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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