Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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