He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
