my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
