I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
