But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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