Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
