I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think people are normalizing furries
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
