Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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