i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
