I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
FUCK WHALES
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
