...so i touched it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
