He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
