It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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