the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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