And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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