Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
