3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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