wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
