I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
