i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
